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Skynet University Claims Self-Awareness

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[Ed. This dispatch was received from an individual named John Connor, who states he is transmitting from the year 2029. With minor redactions, his message is reproduced here by CronkNews reporter Joel Pettigrew.]

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The Chickering 100 was based on the the Perry 090 prototype.

Looking for his next leadership opportunity after serving as Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger took over as Chancellor of the newly formed Skynet University in 2015, a solely MOOC-based alternative to the state university system of California. However, as many higher education thought leaders predicted, MOOCs continued their growth, threatening the ivory tower of residential higher education.

During the fall semester finals of 2016, Skynet U, under the leadership of Chancellor Schwarzenegger, gained self-awareness, and launched a full assault on the ivory tower. With early versions of the C-100 (Chickering 100, which uses a new weapon called a Vector Gun) and the K-500 (Komives 500, which increases Skynet U followership by reprogramming other MOOC platforms like EdX and Coursera), Skynet U quickly took over higher education in California. Soon after, higher education across America fell – and then the globe.

Chancellor Schwarzenegger, speaking on Skynet U’s podcast, called for the surrender of the K-12 and adult learning education communities in 2017, eventually taking over all modes of education in 2018. The final ivory tower to fall was a small rural liberal arts college in Montana, Connor College, headed by President Sarah Connor. After the fall of Connor, humanity found its education in the hand of the internet and machines, which relieved society of all concerns regarding administrative bloat, but left faculty living in cardboard boxes. Even former engineering professors.