by K-FOAG Freelance Writer In these dog-eat-dog economic times, tenure is becoming an increasingly rare option for academic hopefuls. As a coveted job-security status, tenure has represented a holy grail for professorial types who are subsequently able to replace introductory course teaching with rarefied personal projects. However, for quality control purposes, tenure is only granted […]
For seven consecutive days, the earth has inexplicably continued to spin, even after Northeastern University\’s announcement last Monday, November 23, that NU would terminate its football program. “According to modern astral-football theories, the world should have come to an end Tuesday morning,” said exhausted sports physicist Marcus Colton. “Our best hypothesis is that it has […]
by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer Last week, Bryn Mawr College’s April Fool’s-timed hoax press release stated that the liberal arts institution had partnered with an extraterrestrial research university, the Bithnian University of Science and Technology. “I was so excited when I saw the press release,” said prospective student Ruthie Lester. But excitement quickly […]
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