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Professor Behind All Those Affirming Facebook Posts Uncovered as Total Twat

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kindly twat
She finds inspiration wherever she goes.

Sociology Professor Linda Feaster, a.k.a. “The Social Media Buddha” to fans across the world for her inspiring, warmhearted hourly posts was revealed by peers and students Tuesday as a heartless shrew.

“Our department had no idea Linda had such a widespread reputation for affirming the masses,” said faculty colleague professor Reggie Angstrom. “Anytime our department has tried to initiate a progressive change, she consistently vetoes the ideas and berates the ‘idiots’ who conceived of them. Of course she has never volunteered to join one of the strategic planning groups because she finds them beneath her level of superiority.”

“None of us in the sociology department want to sit by her at meetings or even enter the faculty coffee lounge when Linda is there because she is so negative,” said another colleague who feared going on record because Feaster serves on the tenure approval board. “Her term of endearment for students is ‘getter-in-the-wayers’ and the only time we see her even interact with students outside her required classes is when she sends our work-study students to fetch her latte.”

“I had no idea Linda was such a revered figure in social media,” said department chair Gladys Philpot. “None of us who carry significant amounts of work around here have time to go online to chitchat. Reading some of her posts about the joys of teaching or the importance of spreading positivity to everyone around you came as, to be kind, a surprise. I asked her if she’d like to present a professional development session about engaging through technology.”

“Yeah, I heard about that,” said the anonymous colleague. “She was complaining about how Dr. Philpot was trying to add to her – and I quote ‘f-ing workload.’”

“I’m optimist she’ll say yes,” said Philpot. “Her tweet right after I asked her was ‘Don’t just say yes. Say yes with a smile.’”