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Search Committee Successfully Wraps Up 3-month Process to Select Person Everyone Already Knew Would Get It

Flat Mountain College’s Department of Student Services announced Monday that it had identified a successful candidate to be the new assistant director of social marketing. “Wilda Monk, formerly the interim assistant director of social marketing, enthusiastically accepted our offer and will begin immediately,” said search committee chair Jennifer Quincy. “We did a thorough national search […]

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Campus Destroys Joseph Campbell Collection Because Books Say Pain Is Part of Being Human

Wisteria College invited students and faculty to a combination bonfire/book burning at the behest of campus psychiatrist Wilson Gramercy. Books, videos and other media by and about famed mythologist and professor of comparative religion Joseph Campbell were collected and shredded into mulch for the Wisteria College Peace Garden. “Dr. Campbell was a revered scholar for […]

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Faculty Lobby for Department of Unpopular Tasks. Stumble Upon Cache of Administrators.

Faculty at Phillip Seymour University celebrated Thursday when their academic governance council passed legislation to support the creation of a Department of Unpopular Tasks. “Each year, more and more busywork and nonsense is added to our plates, taking away from our focus on students,” said physics researcher Malcolm Dobbs. “Just last week I had to […]