After months of speculation, rumors a Civility Nanny iPhone app have proven true. According to its developers at NanoSmile Inc., Civility Nanny is the perfect tool for faculty and staff committed to maintaining a campus climate defined by civility. Before any staff meeting or interpersonal encounter, the users can pull out their phones and tell [...]

by I.M. Knott-Tawkin Freelance Writer A research study recently released by the Eat Less Institute (ELI) correlates student and faculty expanding waistlines with the ease of presentation software. “It’s not only brains that are going soft,” chief investigator Slim Hawkins said. “Pudgy presenters are no longer going through the effort they used to. It’s too [...]

by Josh Bond Freelance Writer Twitter, Inc. has announced that it will soon identify “elitist” users within higher education with a red “Highed Elite” logo. Similar to its current “Verified” function, the Highed Elite feature will allow users to quickly identify whether they are talking to someone who is a “big deal” in higher education. [...]

by Skye Kopfgeschlagen Freelance Writer With the rampant use of cell phones on Harmony University’s campus following the institution’s texting-as-class-participation pilot program, Twitter has become a popular way for faculty and staff to complain about the students with immediate gratification by “Tweeting” their frustrations. One Tweet from a user called “@ProfHarmU” stated, “The little bombastic [...]

by Skye Kopfgeschlagen Freelance Writer If you detest speaking in class or feel that your repetitive questions might annoy the professor and class to the point of grade reduction, then Harmony University’s innovative use of technology may provide the solution for you. New slang and methods of expressing oneself in class have finally hit the [...]

Hills University, the college that promised high US News rankings by opening with a $100,000/year tuition price tag has once again changed the face of higher education for the über-entitled. “We have opened a remote learning site we’ve dubbed the ‘Blackberry Campus,’” said Hills admissions director Wesley Cavallari. “Through Blackberry, students can take classes through [...]

by Alan Finch Freelance Writer Last summer, administrators at Luckington College approved a plan to better integrate technology on campus. At the time, a joint faculty-administration committee recommended each new Luckington student be welcomed with a “free device to enhance the Luckington experience.” Though not specified in the document, sources from the committee confirmed the [...]

by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer “We were receiving a lot of complaints from faculty about students using too many exclamation points and question marks,” said David Herrera, Vice Provost of Academic Affairs. The complaints led to a joint investigation launched by Academic Affairs and the college’s IT department. The findings were astounding. “During [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer A new Web browser conceived from a comic-book movie and created by graduate students at Chesecracer University in Colorado may hold the key to reducing incidences of depression and feelings of inferiority among high-level faculty members at institutions around the world. The “Browser in the Round” project, also known as [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer Wahrouda University IT staffer Edgar Calhoun takes his business cards very seriously. On August 31, in an impromptu hallway meeting with Professor of Biochemistry Eli North, Calhoun finally exchanged business cards with the reclusive emeritus professor, giving him a complete set of Wahrouda University business cards. It took just over [...]