Kurt Pintauro evaded disciplinary action from his supervisor, Associate Dean of Administrative Services Heather O’Houlihan, this week when his holiday decorations slipped through a loophole in O’Houlihan’s published expectations of seasonal sensitivity. O’Houlihan has issued a memo each December, reminding employees of her strict office policies regarding protocol throughout the holiday season. Included in O’Houlihan’s [...]

Freshman Nitin Aggarwal from Phillmore College just had to go and ruin Thanksgiving for the Ervings, a local family that hosted Aggarwal while the Phillmore campus closed for the holiday. “We thought it would be nice to invite one of the poor oriental students,” said Mrs. Erving, the assistant manager of the local Nickel & [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer The Collegiate Halloween Costume Hall of Fame (CHCHF) released its list of 2010’s top five most culturally insensitive costumes for students looking to make a statement. The list, updated annually, highlights the costumes most likely to offend for those students who are immune to universities’ social justice initiatives. 5. [...]

Imaging scientists have released new data confirming what many have believed intuitively for years: Women look prettier at technical schools. “I always thought of myself as average in high school,” said Floria Siket. “Then I came to Cal Tech, and I was a hottie. I could never explain the phenomenon, and I’m thrilled to have [...]

By Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer Fountain Hills College, renowned for publishing the nation’s most extensive student policy handbook, announced this week that it would ban men’s rugby matches. The announcement cited a yet unpublished policy surrounding flagrant public instances of homoeroticism. The policy, one of fifteen new edicts to be announced in September, [...]

by Joel Pettigrew Freelance Writer This past weekend saw diversity disaster strike at the annual Vice President’s Diversity Retreat at Great Forest State Park in Colorado. The retreat, sponsored by Two Hills University, was coordinated this year by Alex Grey, a second-year master’s student. The retreat itself was running smoothly until lunch on the second [...]

White college personnel from across the country have sighed in collective relief, as Dr. Laura Schlessinger faces harsh criticism from liberals and conservatives alike following her recent use of racial epithets on her radio talk show. “We were getting a little nervous,” said an anonymous university human resources director. “We haven’t hired a person of [...]