by Evan Brews Freelance Writer Students living on campus at South Festoon University are growing concerned with a sharp increase in write-ups stemming from what they deem to be absurd reasons. Returning student Kimberly Anatole reported that she was written up for littering within the first few days of move-in. Anatole stated that she was [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer In the latest move designed to minimize the potential for confrontation between faculty/administration and the staff that work for them, the University of El Dorado Office of the President announced Tuesday that they will institute a new system-wide personnel policy that borrows liberally from the Indian caste system. Beginning September [...]

by Matthew Michael Freelance Writer Faculty in the Southeast Dakota State University Golf Management Program have seen a three hundred percent increase in size of their incoming freshman class, and they cite one cause for the unexpected enrollment growth: the Tiger Woods scandal. “We just want to produce good golf professionals,” said Dr. Richard Huffman, [...]

by Alan Finch Freelance Writer The Office of Student Affairs at Holbrook College, a small liberal arts college in northeast Wisconsin, is petitioning famed publishers Merriam-Webster for a greatly expanded thesaurus. The office seeks outside assistance after a nearly twelve-month effort to revise its mission statement. The process began last fall when Dean of Students, [...]

Personal Protection (within campus perimeter only) Date: 2010-03-14, 11:28AM EST Reply to: mailto:job-cronk-8037179008@craigslist.org Are you administrators tired of having your ideas and initiatives shot down because you don’t get any respect? Do you live in fear of being fired for doing the right thing? Sick of job instability because you work on a year-to-year contract? [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer Harlan College came under fire this week for not intervening in a riot that occurred after the school’s football team lost to its rival, Wade State University. According to police reports, the riot lasted more than two hours before onlookers realized that what was happening was not planned. “It [...]

By Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer Fountain Hills College, renowned for publishing the nation’s most extensive student policy handbook, announced this week that it would ban men’s rugby matches. The announcement cited a yet unpublished policy surrounding flagrant public instances of homoeroticism. The policy, one of fifteen new edicts to be announced in September, [...]

The world of college admissions was rocked this week when a study of tour guides representing every university in the world revealed that in three key categories, there is absolutely no difference. How is the food at your school? It’s not mom’s cooking, but you can always find something. It’s all about options! Is your [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer Wahrouda University IT staffer Edgar Calhoun takes his business cards very seriously. On August 31, in an impromptu hallway meeting with Professor of Biochemistry Eli North, Calhoun finally exchanged business cards with the reclusive emeritus professor, giving him a complete set of Wahrouda University business cards. It took just over [...]

by Joel Pettigrew Freelance Writer This past weekend saw diversity disaster strike at the annual Vice President’s Diversity Retreat at Great Forest State Park in Colorado. The retreat, sponsored by Two Hills University, was coordinated this year by Alex Grey, a second-year master’s student. The retreat itself was running smoothly until lunch on the second [...]