Diana Senechal Freelance Writer The Marketability-Mometer® may sound like a mouthful, but at Pecunia College, it has started to influence what comes out of students’ mouths. Developed by Disruptive Innovation, LLC, the Marketability-Mometer gauges an individual’s instantaneous marketability and displays results and trends on a screen. In the college classroom, it allows professors to gauge [...]

by I.M. Knott-Tawkin Freelance Writer Do you feel helpless over your use of emoticons? Do you find yourself spending more and more time thinking of ways to avoid writing using the traditional alphabet? Does a traditional text message – or even drawing a stick figure to express yourself – seem an overwhelming task? When you [...]

As new information is revealed daily about the scandal at Penn State, questions have been raised at other institutions about how much power campus authorities actually hold. The Journal of College Administration has released 2010 data from their extensive study of power at different types of institutions. We have printed two particularly compelling charts below. [...]

by John Dolphin Sports Writer KENSINGTON, Pa. – Police, college officials and the NCAA are investigating an unexpected act of mob violence following Kensington State University’s Saturday football game. In a last-minute comeback, the KSU Eagles football team squeaked past the Saint Hubert Terriers, delighting the home crowd and inspiring one fan to storm the [...]

by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer With fall semester more than halfway over, college students across the country look forward to Thanksgiving break. “It’ll be nice to sleep in for a few days—my 8 a.m. classes are kicking my butt,” explained Jacob Morrow, a first-year student at Eastern Maryland College. “I’m looking forward to [...]

  Abraham Martin College student worker Ruby Mathers was rudely interrupted at her receptionist job in the Campus Information Center when she was trying to watch a video of an adorable kitten. “People have no manners anymore,” said Mathers. “My friend sent me this awesome video of a kitten playing with a shoebox and some [...]

by AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer After the stress of midterm exams and the tension of homecoming pride competitions, college students from Treelawn State University look forward to letting loose on Halloween, the one night each year they can break completely free of their normal routines. A temporary Halloween-themed store at the mall near Treelawn’s campus [...]

by James Hithergreen Freelance Writer Health educators at Wassail University are taking on the problem of drinking games by teaching students what some consider to be the best way to avoid over-consumption: Winning. “We figure most students are going to play these games at some point,” said Associate Director of Student Health Services Burt Beirut. [...]

Mother Madre University has begun the process of requesting sainthood for recently-deceased student Kip Cunningham. Cunningham died after drinking too much and stealing another student’s car, which he drove through the campus’s cemetery and crashed into a 200-year-old statute donated by the university’s beloved founder Sister Agnes Gloria. The canonization request originated with Cunningham’s parents, [...]

Divoire University announced a historic change this week when it announced a new name: Divoire Multiversity. “I had never considered making the change,” said Divoire President Richard C. Clavin, “but our Committee for Proper Language was very convincing in its argument to move to a more positive, inclusive name.” “We started by analyzing the word [...]