The Cronk of Higher Education (CronkNews.com) seeks articles for a special hardcopy edition to be distributed at upcoming higher education conferences, including ACPA, NASPA and ACUI.

Content guidelines:

• Submissions should be satirical news items of 100 to 250 words.

• Articles should be timely and relate to issues familiar to most college faculty or staff.

• Article titles should be able to stand alone as mini humor pieces if possible.

• Preference will be given to articles written specifically about higher education conferences.

Submission and publication details are posted at http://www.cronknews.com/publishing-guidelines/.

Higher Ed Tech Conference 2010: Networking for a Better Tomorrow
February 29, 2010, Maui, Hawaii

Do you spend most of your office time online? Are you surrounded by technophobes at work? Do you need to work on your tan? We have the conference for you!

Pre-Conference Program:
“How to Look Like You’re Doing Work When You’re Really Doing Facebook.”
Learn to download applications that disguise social networking sites so your nosy boss will think you’re working on this year’s learning-outcomes assessment report.

Morning Keynote:
“I used to be a Twit, and now I’m a consultant!”
Motivational speaker and pretty boy Brad Spader tells how he rose from a tenure-rejected professor to a higher ed hero by writing 150 tweets per hour and presenting at every higher ed conference in existence. Brad will be signing his new book, Be Almost as Blond and Good as Me, at lunchtime.

Afternoon Roundtable:
“Networking 2.0”
Bring your Blackberry! We’ll drink coffee, exchange Twitter names, FB friend each other and talk about how lame MySpace is.

Each conference attendee will receive a certificate that says you’ve won a prestigious award for “Progressive Use of Technology to Improve Higher Education” in case your supervisor ever questions the amount of time you spend on AIM.

Make your reservations now. Conference programs are only one day, but we will provide publications that list a 3-day schedule so you can feel free to book extra time for additional “professional development.”

Whether you use ACPA, the Placement Exchange or HigherEdJobs.com, we want to hear your craziest, funniest tales from this year’s job searches.

Register at Twitter and @CronkNews with your Tweeted interview (or lack of) journal. We’ll post stories HERE. Employers, we’re talking to you, too!

Worried about anonymity? Email your stories and your preferred alias (Tweet-length, please) to Editor@CronkNews.com.

Call for Programs:

National FME-CSP Conference

October 21-24, 2009
Charleston, SC

Future Manager Education in College Student Personnel

This year’s FME-CSP conference team has put together a convention theme that captures the excitement and expectations coming with the change of decades. We’re putting the F back in FME.

Intentional * On Purpose * Keeping It Real

We hope those three terms give you the feeling of anticipation we had when we developed the theme. We intend (get it?) to make this the best student affairs conference you’ve ever attended.

We need a wide range of programs, especially in the following categories:

• Diversity
• Diversity – The Racial Kind
• GLBT Diversity
• The Creepy Internet and Why Facebook Makes Us Insecure
• Diversity
• Multiculturalism
• Generational Diversity
• Trends in Higher Education

Send program proposals to: editor@cronknews.com

Include a description of the program and make sure you have a clever title that ties in with the conference theme. Something like “Intentionally Intending to Keep It Real” would be perfect.

Proposals due September 1, 2009