by I.M. Knott-Tawkin Freelance Writer “There is absolutely, positively nothing funny about being an adjunct,” says Kontingent “Konnie” J. Klown, who has gone through life with an unusual name coined by her parents, itinerant academics. And Klown’s recently formed group, “Adjuncts Are Amazing University Psychics, See?” AAAUPS (not to be confused with AAUP, AAA, or [...]

As new information is revealed daily about the scandal at Penn State, questions have been raised at other institutions about how much power campus authorities actually hold. The Journal of College Administration has released 2010 data from their extensive study of power at different types of institutions. We have printed two particularly compelling charts below. [...]

“Some of my best friends are student affairs professionals,” says tenured professor. by AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer With another academic year quickly approaching, Sisyphus University Faculty Provost Taché Inutile and VP of Student Affairs Elle Echec formulated a plan to bring two ostensibly opposed sides of campus together: faculty and student affairs professionals. “We’ve noticed [...]

by Schubert Lovenkraft Freelance Writer Chanting, “Ho, Ho, Hey, Hey, we deserve a 401K,” Humanities graduate teaching assistants marched on the Carver Administration Building today after voting overwhelmingly to unionize. “Look at me!” said a beleaguered Dylan Hawthorne. “I started grad school in the 90s. I should be thinking about retirement and I haven’t even [...]

Archeology major Wendy Markell packed Professor Mary Louise Grandy into her car last Saturday and took her to the most recent filming of the PBS program “Antiques Road Show.” “I’ve had Dr. Grandy’s modern literature classes for three years and I was just curious what she was worth,” said Markell. “Her lessons seem really old [...]

Campus emergency procedures were put in place at Julienne University when Laura Bogan, assistant director of dining services, was seen having coffee with Vice Chancellor Anita Kroft. “I was suspicious as soon as I walked into the campus café,” said Bogan’s supervisor Brandy Downes. “What were they talking about? Why did Dr. Kroft want to [...]

  In an unprecedented display of punctuality, Assistant Director of IT Services Wanda Sternbloom arrived on time to accept her 25 Years of Service Excellence Award, along with a $100 gift card, last Tuesday. “It was amazing to see her walk in on time,” said Sternbloom’s colleague Jeff Cranson. “Our boss has hinted around for [...]

According to his press release Bud Graham, the assistant office assistant for library services at Louisville Methodist University, has been promoted for the first time in his 23 years at the college. “I’m thrilled to accept the captain position for the LMU Weight Watchers troop,” announced Graham. “I’ve worked hard at the college, and I’ve [...]

Staff from the Obervine College department of academic support have filed a collective grievance indicating displeasure that a newly introduced organizational chart will move them reporting to the dean of curriculum instead of the vice provost. “This is offensive in countless ways,” said an academic support assistant who wished to remain anonymous. “By being demoted [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer Over the past two years, Tabeart College has posted more than 300 jobs to various higher education publications and search services, including The Placement Exchange and the Chronicle of Higher Education. Noting this unusually high number for an institution that reports having a combined faculty and staff of just [...]