Immediate Opening Winchester Tech, Vermont Description Winchester Tech, a gorgeous 4-year coeducational university, seeks a Token Search Committee Member in order to represent the rich diversity we value on our campus. The successful Token will provide relief for our stretched-too-thin staff members of color who have started whispering about feeling used for their minority status. [...]

Immediate Opening Indianaville University, IN Description In an effort to reduce our personnel budget expenditures, Indianaville University seeks to hire several robot professors. This is an accelerated tenure-track position at a student-centered, teaching-centered institution. Will carry double the full-time course load in field of expertise. Requirements Terminal degree required. Teaching experience and passion optional. Must [...]

Multiple Immediate Openings Metropolitan University, NY Needed: Several credentialed wellness instructors to teach numerous sections of University’s mandated “Happiness Through Nutrition and Fitness” course. Requirements Must have advanced degree in Physical Science, Nutrition or a related field. Must be visibly overweight and comfortable using scripted PowerPoint presentations about the countless rewards of eating well and [...]

Multiple Immediate Openings Metropolitan University, NY Needed Several credentialed wellness instructors to teach numerous sections of University’s mandated “Happiness Through Nutrition and Fitness” course. Requirements Must have advanced degree in Physical Science, Nutrition or a related field. Must be disgustingly fit, but still hyper-worried about body image. Preference will be given to candidates who practice [...]

Small Hill University, Idaho Description The position includes supervision, leadership and communication, and our internal candidate Gillian Jaeger already has all the credentials we seek. Successful candidate will oversee staff selection and development and collaborate productively with the colleagues who already really like Gillian. Position reports directly to the dean of students, who has a [...]

Martinsburg University, Massachusetts Description Executive-level position, reporting directly to the president. Directs strategic planning for widespread attention-getting change. Results of change, or providing resources in order to sustain the change, are not important. Use of national buzz words that will get us coverage in the national media very import. Requirements Ability to get the job [...]

Michigan Southern University Description Immerse yourself in multiple professional organizations and work your ass off. Provide laser-sharp focus to attending conferences and serving on conference-related committees. Become close buddies with individuals you will see once or twice a year. Perks include lots of travel opportunities and certificates you can hang on your office wall. Don’t [...]

Description Plan events and manage substantial budget. Advise student groups and role model ethical behavior. You will meet and host celebrity performers on campus, and travel to conferences like NACA to scout for potential acts. That doesn’t mean that going all over the world to see Madonna and Celine Dion is okay. Requirements Good judgment. [...]

Description At the lovely, highly competitive University of Cambridge, we set the bar for academics and reading admissions essays. Every single one of those darn essays. The Director of Admissions serves as chief public relations office regarding the topic of reading admissions essays. Relationships with students and the parents who spent thousands of dollars on [...]

Description Darn the luck. Just in case pressure gets too intense, we’re collecting vitae and nominations for our presidency. Requirements Terminal degree encouraged but not required.. Integrity encouraged but not required. Scholarship encouraged but not required. To Apply Please reconsider. Being the president of an Alabama institution has some bad mojo attached.