by Hannah Q. Scott Freelance Writer This week in Student Affairs: Elenchus University is trying a new tactic in hiring a director of residence life. Elenchus U is planning a full nationwide search instead of naming an interim director that will eventually become permanent. “We just couldn’t continue to populate the upper echelons of student [...]

AVAILABLE MAY 1 Position: Summer Intern Location: Cronk of Higher Education Description Successful candidate will: Write fresh, popular articles for magazine and allow superiors to take credit for work Do the crappy stuff the staff really hates doing. You know – lots of databases, telemarketing and that kind of thing Use words like “transformative” when [...]

Cramer College continues to innovate in its effort to improve the low ratings it has received each year in the Chronicle of Higher Education’s employee satisfaction reports. Most recently, a consultant was brought in to get a better understanding of the motivations that drive excellent staff performance. “We learned quickly what was in the hearts [...]

In the most awkward Chicago moment since Michael Jordan bought the Bobcats, 70 candidates at The Placement Exchange (TPE) showed up for job interviews last week to find they had all dressed in the same black suit. Organizers of TPE, the annual national job fair for professionals in college student affairs, met in an emergency [...]

by Irma Voigt Staff Writer A lawsuit filed last week alleges that Marquardt College, a small, religious institution, mishandled a prospective employee’s interview in February. “It was well-intentioned,” said Mariam Puckett, university spokeswoman. “This candidate was unable to attend a placement exchange so the department in question made an accommodation for him. Unfortunately the selection [...]

Professor Emeritus of Life LessonsWilliam C. Jefferson School of DiplomacyDubois University, Arkansas Opening for Fall 2010 Description Will teach the theory and philosophy of successful rebounds from epic failures. Modeled after Elliot Spitzer’s position at City College of New York and the recent Washington & Lee speaking engagement conducted by humiliated New York Times ex-journalist [...]

Available Immediately Henry Clay University Consultant sought to fire our Dean of Enrollment, Margaret. Consultant must provide a site visit under the guise of writing a comprehensive report to inform the University’s admissions processes. In the end, the successful candidate will submit a report that includes a list of national best practices, advice about the [...]

Available Immediately, Several Vacancies Pattensen College, Missouri Description Supervisory-level positions in several departments require new personnel. Would oversee five to thirteen staff members who require constant affirmation and ego stroking. Requirements Must be friendly, patient and able to turn a blind eye to staff performance deficits. Supervisory experience optional. Ability to hold staff accountable for [...]

Immediate Opening Francis Bacon University Description Seeking clearly dysfunctional professional to challenge our administrative executives. Examples of dysfunctions could include verbal abusiveness, egregious incompetence or predilection for explosive temper tantrums. Qualifications Successful candidate will be married to beloved campus professional who might resign if spouse is held accountable for terrible behavior. Perks Consistently poor enough [...]

Whether you use ACPA, the Placement Exchange or HigherEdJobs.com, we want to hear your craziest, funniest tales from this year’s job searches. Register at Twitter and @CronkNews with your Tweeted interview (or lack of) journal. We’ll post stories HERE. Employers, we’re talking to you, too! Worried about anonymity? Email your stories and your preferred alias [...]