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Thinking about trying your hand at academic satire? Welcome! The Cronk of Higher Education is thrilled to accept outside contributions.

We do our best to operate in the lighthearted spirit of our publication but we also take good writing seriously. Articles submitted for consideration should have all three of the holy Cronk trinity:

  • Perfect mechanics. That means grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. It’s not an editor’s job to do your writing for you. Stories should be technically perfect for a cut & paste. Need some help? We recommend the writer’s old faithful: Strunk and White’s Elements of Style.
  • Basic understanding of our brand of newspaper writing and humor. Yep, we’re a fake news organization but we try to follow AP style guidelines so we can fake it credibly. There’s a great cheat sheet here. Keep the writing simple, not flowery, and use a serious tone to keep the humor dry rather than corny. As a general rule, the more serious your delivery, the funnier the story.
  • Mission. Read it. Write it.


  • Polish. If you’ve got the hang of the first three, kick things up a notch by strictly holding yourself to active verb tenses and self-editing for universal readability. Keep in mind that 90% of other people on your campus have no clue about the crazy acronyms, organizations, theories or job tasks you take for granted. A great guide for cogent writing is the appropriately named On Writing by Stephen King.

Ready, set, Cronk.