The Cronk of Higher Education
  • Home
  • About
    • Mission
    • Staff
    • In the News
  • Publishing Guidelines
    • Writing Resources for Fake Journalists
  • Archives
  • Merchandise
  • Hire Us
    • Hire Leah
    • Hire Irma
    • Hire Brody
  • It’s a Book!
  • CronkNews Book Challenge
    • Level 1 – High School Diploma
    • Level 2 – The Associate’s Degree
    • Level 3 – The Bachelor’s Degree
    • Level 4 – The Master’s Degree
    • Level 5 – The Cronktorate
    • Level 6 – Tenure Track
  • Press Resources
  • Subscribe
  • National Satire Month
  • We’re Hiring!

Society Page: NASPA Sends ACPA on Honeymoon Alone, Leaves ACPA Stuck with Deposit

Posted on Tuesday, July 26th 2011
Tags: 2014, acpa, conference, consolidation, merger, naspa, unification
Society Page: NASPA Sends ACPA on Honeymoon Alone, Leaves ACPA Stuck with Deposit
by Dexter Woodlawn Freelance Writer After being left at the altar by the National Association of Student Personnel Association (NASPA), the American College Personnel Association (ACPA) is now stuck going on the planned honeymoon alone, despite a promise from NASPA that they “could remain good friends.” NASPA recently made the decision to pull out of [...]

NASPA/ACPA Rumored to Select Cake Flavor and Flower Girl This Week

Posted on Friday, April 15th 2011
Tags: acpa, consolidation, merger, naspa
NASPA/ACPA Rumored to Select Cake Flavor and Flower Girl This Week
by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer Even though the polls have just closed on the proposed consolidation of higher education powerhouse organizations NASPA and ACPA, sources close to the couple say the associations are moving forward with wedding arrangements and have narrowed their cake choices to three possibilities and their prospective flower girls down [...]

British Royal Family Requests Moratorium on Competing ACPA/NASPA Wedding Updates

Posted on Wednesday, March 30th 2011
Tags: acpa, consolidation, merger, naspa, vote
British Royal Family Requests Moratorium on Competing ACPA/NASPA Wedding Updates
Representatives from the British royal family have sent a memo to the boards of two college administration organizations requesting that the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA) and the American College Personnel Association (ACPA) put a temporary halt to publicity about their possible union. “This is an opportunity for us to rebuild the reputation [...]

New Professional Fired for Inappropriate Conference Behavior

Posted on Monday, March 28th 2011
Tags: acpa, conference, etiquette, expectations, naspa
New Professional Fired for Inappropriate Conference Behavior
by Hannah Q. Scott Freelance Writer Jennifer Lane, a residence hall director in her first year at Savoy College, had her contract terminated upon returning from this year’s National Association of Student Personnel Administrators’ conference (NASPA). According to Carlos Beals, director of residence life, “Jennifer did not exhibit the type of role modeling behavior that [...]

NASPA Hires Nancy Grace to Draft Prenup for ACPA Merger

Posted on Monday, March 14th 2011
Tags: acpa, consolidation, merger, naspa, vote
NASPA Hires Nancy Grace to Draft Prenup for ACPA Merger
According to leaked documents from the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA), famed CNN personality and abrasive former prosecutor Nancy Grace has been put on retainer to create an ironclad prenuptial agreement in NASPA’s predicted union with the American College Personnel Association (ACPA). “Those assholes at NASPA must have heard that we were in [...]

Anti-TPE Protestors Say “Aspire to Stay. It’s Okay!”

Posted on Thursday, March 10th 2011
Tags: acpa, naspa, placement, retention, tpe
Anti-TPE Protestors Say “Aspire to Stay. It’s Okay!”
by Erica Price Freelance Writer Rave reviews from the National Association of Student Personnel Association’s (NASPA) recent “Institute for Aspiring Senior Student Affairs Officers” conference have inspired a different group of student affairs administrators to consider some different professional development initiatives. The newly founded “Gold Watch Institute” will be held this coming April in Jacksonville, [...]

Hey, TPE-ers, Tell Us Your Placement Stories!

Posted on Friday, March 4th 2011
Tags: acpa, career central, naspa, ope, oshkosh, tpe
Hey, TPE-ers, Tell Us Your Placement Stories!
At the end of March the head writers from CronkNews.com will present a session called “The Funny Business of Placement” at the American College Personnel Association conference. We need your help! Send us a short video (mpg format) of you telling us about the job interview from your past (or current!) experience that still makes [...]

ACUHO-I Conference Romance Ends Abruptly: NASPA/ACPA Differences Cited

Posted on Wednesday, June 30th 2010
Tags: acpa, acuho, acuhoi, conference, hook-up, merger, naspa, romance
ACUHO-I Conference Romance Ends Abruptly: NASPA/ACPA Differences Cited
by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer The Cronk of Higher Education is sad to report that Adam Alex Michaelson and June Andrea Michaels have announced their breakup. The couple met last Saturday morning at the ACUHO-I conference registration table. “It was a fairytale meeting,” said Stacy Oliver, a volunteer who was working at the [...]

Mounting Evidence Indicates Student Affairs Icon Vernon Wall and RuPaul Are Same Person

Posted on Friday, May 28th 2010
Tags: acpa, cabaret, drag, institute, rupaul, sjti, social justice, training, vernon wall
Mounting Evidence Indicates Student Affairs Icon Vernon Wall and RuPaul Are Same Person
by ZackFord Freelance Writer Rumors have long circulated that social justice educator and higher education guru Vernon Wall is actually famed drag persona and actor RuPaul. New evidence has emerged recently showing credible evidence that not only are the rumors true, but the two personas seem to be merging. Jess Brubaker, a graduate assistant in [...]

Higher Ed Guru Peter Magolda Creates Hollywood Hair Sensation

Posted on Thursday, March 25th 2010
Tags: acpa, assessment, miami university, ohio, peter magolda, qualitative, research
Higher Ed Guru Peter Magolda Creates Hollywood Hair Sensation
After years of being known best as an elite professor at Miami University of Ohio and top expert in the field of qualitative research, Dr. Peter Magolda has achieved the highest level of mainstream popularity. According to E!citement news reports, Magolda’s presentation at the convention of the American College Personnel Association in Boston caught the [...]
Older Entries «

Social Links

Facebook MySpace Twitter  RSS

Get Your CronkNews Book!

Order your copy of Required Reading: The Very Best of CronkNews.com!

Available now on Amazon.

Host a Required Reading book club.

Download questions here. Get group rates on your books. For details, or to invite one of the authors to Skype with your club, email editor@CronkNews.com. Happy clubbin'!

Fall Recommendations

Show us your love

If you'd like to make a donation to keep us stocked in office supplies and creativity, we'd be ever so grateful.

Garb

For the fashion-conscious college professional on laundry day. Enter coupon code ShipmeforFREE for free shipping on orders over $30 until May 3!

Power of the Pen

It's more than a pen. It might just save your soul.

CronkNews Goes Multimedia

Listen to internet radio with CronkNews on Blog Talk Radio

Recent Posts

  • President Phil Comes Out of His Office, Sees His Secretary, Predicts 6 More Years with No Raises
  • Plushie Fetish Scandal Rocks College/Mascot Community
  • Stung by Plagiarism, Harvard Will Allow Profs to Make Stuff Up
  • No-Shave November Leaves Many Itching for Something New
  • Cronk’s First Video!: Stuff Hall Directors say to RAs

Hot Topics

  • CronkNews Documentary Film: "Move-In Day"
    15 comments received
  • Librarians Abandon Dewey Decimal System in Favor of Netflix Categories
    11 comments received
  • Librarians Reinstate Book Burning After Lauren Conrad Announces Release of Third Novel
    11 comments received
  • Contact Us
    6 comments received
  • Interns Scramble to Justify Summer Bitchwork as Academic
    6 comments received

Tags

academic acpa admissions assessment best practices budget campus chronicle college college humor conduct conference cronk cronknews diversity ethics faculty football helicopter highered higher ed higher education interview job millennial multicultural naspa NCAA News orientation parents PC Police Log policy political correctness privilege professors rules satire staff student tenure tpe twitter university wellness

Favorite Links

  • The Chronicle of Higher Education
  • The Onion
Copyright © 2012 The Cronk of Higher Education All Rights Reserved.