University Promotes Autism Awareness with Expensive Building Illumination
Posted on Wednesday, April 10th 2013
Tags: aspergers, autism, budget, fiscal, funding, responsibility
Tags: aspergers, autism, budget, fiscal, funding, responsibility
by Anselmo Watkins Throughout the month of April, Whittington University’s Central Administration Building will be bathed in a pastel blue light as the campus celebrates Autism Awareness Month. According to campus lighting shop supervisor John Cimbal, the university spent “several thousand dollars, in the mid-five figures” on the customized lighting grid that will illuminate the [...]
BREAKING: NASPA Conference Canceled after Hotel Starbucks Runs Out of Coffee
Posted on Monday, March 18th 2013
Tags: budget, coffee, ethics, lines, naspa, priorities, starbucks, tpe
Tags: budget, coffee, ethics, lines, naspa, priorities, starbucks, tpe
by Josh Bond On-scene Freelancer The final three days of the 95th annual NASPA conference were cancelled this afternoon after the Starbucks in the conference hotel ran out of coffee. “Given the circumstances, we don’t feel that attendees can achieve an appropriate level of BOLD-ness without caffeine,” said a high ranking anonymous member of the [...]
For-profit University Turns Research I after $454 Million Grant for “Super Stapler”
by Yremia Johnson Freelance Writer Research institutions have a new reason to fear for-profit universities now that they are both in the grant writing game. By donating billions to campaigns in the recent election for-profits have gained large degrees of influence on a variety of officials who will create federal- and state-level research grants. Republican [...]
College Announces Professor-for-Dorm Exchange
Posted on Monday, October 15th 2012
Tags: ammenities, budget, consumer, customer service, priorities
Tags: ammenities, budget, consumer, customer service, priorities
by Diana Senechal Binghamton, N.Y. Last Thursday, to the cheers and stomps of two thousand students, Elysium College announced its new plan for dormitory improvement. Beaming, in a crimson silk dress, with video displays to either side of her, President Esther Bonnevie told the audience that whoever wanted a luxurious new dormitory room need only [...]
In Compromise, Football Scoreboard to Offer Poetry
by Con Chapman Lifestyles Editor KALISPELL, Montana. Western Montana State is a pre-season pick to finish among the top 25 college football teams in the nation, and the Mountain Goats’ rise to prominence is reflected in a spanking-new $5 million scoreboard that saw its first game-day action in September. “It’s a thing of beauty, that’s [...]
College Responds to Budget Cuts with Super Sized Corporate Sponsorship Plan
by Hannah Q. Scott Freelance Writer While many universities struggle with budget limitations brought on by dramatic cuts in federal and state support, Heartland College (now known as Pfizer-Heartland College) has found a new way to make ends meet: increased corporate sponsorship. Director of College Relations Peter Hamlisch says, “We were hurting financially. Instead of [...]
Governor Introduces the “Adjunctivan” as Green Budget-Cutting Measure
by I.M. Knott-Tawkin Freelance Writer In a continuing effort to balance the state budget, incoming Governor Jane Kossack has announced a new cost-cutting benefit available to the state’s higher education institutions. The “adjunctivan” will circle the state, bringing qualified faculty members to remote locations, much as the bookmobile used to bring books to rural areas. [...]
Me Love You Long Dime: Money Saving Tips for Colleges in this Struggling Economy
Posted on Wednesday, December 22nd 2010
Tags: best practices, budget, fiscal, saving, sustainability
Tags: best practices, budget, fiscal, saving, sustainability
by David Anthony Freelance Writer In this struggling economy, fraught with tenuous financial and budgetary situations, multiple institutions of higher education face critical cuts to student services such as student extracurricular activities and more specifically to holiday related spending. However, after a tour of some of the most prosperous colleges and universities nationwide, this reporter [...]
Campus Holds ‘Choose Your Own Issue’ Candle Light Vigil
by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer Responding to criticism that there have been too many candle light vigils on campus this quarter, Martens University has scheduled what staff are calling the university’s last. “We were really burning resources by having a vigil every time there was a new issue or supposed crisis,” said Fiona Jarvey, [...]
College Cracks Down on Overused Punctuation
by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer “We were receiving a lot of complaints from faculty about students using too many exclamation points and question marks,” said David Herrera, Vice Provost of Academic Affairs. The complaints led to a joint investigation launched by Academic Affairs and the college’s IT department. The findings were astounding. “During [...]

