The Cronk of Higher Education
  • Home
  • About
    • Mission
    • Staff
    • In the News
  • Publishing Guidelines
    • Writing Resources for Fake Journalists
  • Archives
  • Merchandise
  • Hire Us
    • Hire Leah
    • Hire Irma
    • Hire Brody
  • It’s a Book!
  • CronkNews Book Challenge
    • Level 1 – High School Diploma
    • Level 2 – The Associate’s Degree
    • Level 3 – The Bachelor’s Degree
    • Level 4 – The Master’s Degree
    • Level 5 – The Cronktorate
    • Level 6 – Tenure Track
  • Press Resources
  • Subscribe
  • National Satire Month
  • We’re Hiring!

Longtime Football Coach Startled to Learn Caps Lock Could Be Turned Off

Posted on Friday, July 30th 2010
Tags: abusive, all, caps, coach, college athletics, football, yelling
Longtime Football Coach Startled to Learn Caps Lock Could Be Turned Off
by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer In the last 25 years, Axmead College Head Football Coach Brett Killman has won over 230 games and led his teams to seven Great Northern Pine League Championships and three NCAA Division III post-season appearances. His booming basso-profondo voice is well known in football stadiums across the Northern United States. [...]

Axed ND Coach Turns Losing into Lo-Fat Lemon Cheesecake

Posted on Tuesday, December 15th 2009
Tags: biggest loser, charlie, coach, dancing with the stars, fat, fired, football, jenny craig, notre dame, nutrisystem, obese, overweight, reality tv, terminated, weis
Axed ND Coach Turns Losing into Lo-Fat Lemon Cheesecake
by Irma Voigt Staff Reporter There is life after coaching a Division I football team, at least for outgoing University of Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis. “We’re pleased to announce that Charlie Weis is the new face of Jenny Craig,” spokeswoman Cindy Lombard said. Jenny Craig is a diet and nutrition program with franchises [...]

College Football Coach Moonlights at Home Depot to Cover Living Expenses

Posted on Monday, October 12th 2009
Tags: coach, coaches, college, college athletics, football, NCAA, salaries, salary
College Football Coach Moonlights at Home Depot to Cover Living Expenses
Joe “Old Flint” Cousins, head coach of the Charleston State Univerity men’s football team was spied recently working as a cashier at a Home Depot about seven miles from his home campus. “I feel so sorry for him,” said math professor Paulina Gorzki, who bought a set of screwdrivers from Coach Cousins. “Most football coaches [...]

Get Your CronkNews Book!

Order your copy of Required Reading: The Very Best of CronkNews.com!

Available now on Amazon.

Celebrate Satire & Education

Show us your love

If you'd like to make a donation to keep us stocked in office supplies and creativity, we'd be ever so grateful.

Social Links

Facebook  Twitter  RSS

Fridays Are Satire Days Podcast

Garb

For the fashion-conscious college professional on laundry day.

Power of the Pen

It's more than a pen. It might just save your soul.

CronkNews Goes Multimedia

Listen to internet radio with CronkNews on Blog Talk Radio

Recent Posts

  • College Denies Allegations of Teaching
  • Students of Today Demand More Relevant Commencement Awards
  • Join the CronkNews Summer Book Club!
  • As Value of B.A. Declines, Some Males Ask “Is 6th Grade Really Worth It?”
  • Poetry: When I do Count the Costs of My Degree

Tags

academic acpa admissions assessment best practices budget campus chronicle college college humor conduct conference cronk cronknews diversity dorm ethics expectations faculty football highered higher ed higher education interview job millennial naspa NCAA News orientation parents policy political correctness privilege professors rules satire staff student tenure tpe training twitter university wellness

Favorite Links

  • The Chronicle of Higher Education
  • The Onion
Copyright © 2013 The Cronk of Higher Education All Rights Reserved.