by Jack Snap Technology Beat Freelancer In its continuing quest to balance a tight budget and trim the fat from unnecessary overhead costs, College of the NorthSouth has announced that it will ban all faculty and formal classes beginning with the spring semester. “Students have voiced no objection to our innovative plan,” interim president Herb [...]

by Lois R. Santtomly Freelance Writer In a post-apocalyptic world where funding for university departments has dwindled to almost nothing, one university took inspiration from popular literature to determine funding for the upcoming school year. Taking a page, literally, from Suzanne Collins’ hit series of young-adult novels and films “The Hunger Games,” Wrigley University in [...]

by I.M. Knott-Tawkin Freelance Writer In a continuing effort to balance the state budget, incoming Governor Jane Kossack has announced a new cost-cutting benefit available to the state’s higher education institutions. The “adjunctivan” will circle the state, bringing qualified faculty members to remote locations, much as the bookmobile used to bring books to rural areas. [...]

by Monty Tufnel Freelance Writer Faculty at Gwynn Oaks College in Oak Park, IN staged a one-day sit-in to protest the college’s newly designated “Development Day.” The all-day “Faculty In-Service,” as it was called for the last twenty years, was recently renamed at the suggestion of new president, Myron D. Schrenk. Jordan Wilkes Hammer, chair [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer A new Web browser conceived from a comic-book movie and created by graduate students at Chesecracer University in Colorado may hold the key to reducing incidences of depression and feelings of inferiority among high-level faculty members at institutions around the world. The “Browser in the Round” project, also known as [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer In the latest move designed to minimize the potential for confrontation between faculty/administration and the staff that work for them, the University of El Dorado Office of the President announced Tuesday that they will institute a new system-wide personnel policy that borrows liberally from the Indian caste system. Beginning September [...]

by Brody Truce Senior Staff Writer Student affairs staff at Danberry Quaker College in Plymouth Meeting, PA scrapped their freshman orientation plan this week after a revelation from Jesus Christ stating that he was “disappointed” in the college’s orientation theme. The revelation occurred during the weekly all-college Quaker prayer meeting, in which faculty and staff [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer Eddinger College is investigating multiple reports from students that Nancy Payton, secretary in the department of behavioral neuroscience, attempted to provide academic assistance to them. “I went in to the office because I was struggling with a lab assignment about neural mechanisms involved in obesity. I was hoping to [...]

Many young adjunct faculty across the nation have new hope of finding a home this year, as the Obama healthcare plan has extended benefits to dependent children up to twenty six years of age, if their employers do not provide coverage. “I didn’t think I’d ever have health benefits,” said Corinda Lopez, a part-time writing [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer In his six years at the Terra Nova University, Professor of Sociology Phil Dunston has twice been voted professor of the year by his students. His 2008 book on the sociological aspects of youth football among the children of Pennsylvania coal miners, Blocking the Mine, is in its third printing. [...]