by John Dolphin Sports Writer KENSINGTON, Pa. – Police, college officials and the NCAA are investigating an unexpected act of mob violence following Kensington State University’s Saturday football game. In a last-minute comeback, the KSU Eagles football team squeaked past the Saint Hubert Terriers, delighting the home crowd and inspiring one fan to storm the [...]

by Aloysius St. Bernard Freelance Writer Tommy Bowden, former assistant coach at Florida State under his father Bobby Bowden, returned to Tallahassee last month, creating confusion over his motives nearly a year after the ousting of his father, who led the football program for 34 years. The elder Bowden stepped down in January 2010 after [...]

by Monty Tufnel Freelance Writer In a shocking development yesterday a group of university presidents from six conferences announced the formation of a Commencement Championship Series (CCS) to create the best possible system to identify the number one ranked school academically in the world. “U.S. News and World Report rankings are simply not useful anymore [...]

South Carolina Football Secedes from NCAA Ole Miss, Georgia, Alabama Rumored to Follow South Carolina set off the latest football conference shakeup yesterday, when Coach Steve Spurrier announced the University’s secession from the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA). “We, the Gamecocks of the University of South Carolina,” began Spurrier, “in this press conference assembled, do [...]

by Anselmo Watkins Freelance Writer In the last 25 years, Axmead College Head Football Coach Brett Killman has won over 230 games and led his teams to seven Great Northern Pine League Championships and three NCAA Division III post-season appearances. His booming basso-profondo voice is well known in football stadiums across the Northern United States. [...]

Cyber-colleges, University of Falconer and Kapstone College, have begun recruitment for the first-ever online football league. Using an innovative scouting and training program, nine teams will join to form the NCAA’s Big Tech organization. The group was inspired by the unique Collegiate Sprint Football League, which pits small for-profit colleges against Ivy League competitors. The [...]

by Irma Voigt Staff Reporter There is life after coaching a Division I football team, at least for outgoing University of Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis. “We’re pleased to announce that Charlie Weis is the new face of Jenny Craig,” spokeswoman Cindy Lombard said. Jenny Craig is a diet and nutrition program with franchises [...]

For seven consecutive days, the earth has inexplicably continued to spin, even after Northeastern University‘s announcement last Monday, November 23, that NU would terminate its football program. “According to modern astral-football theories, the world should have come to an end Tuesday morning,” said exhausted sports physicist Marcus Colton. “Our best hypothesis is that it has [...]

Joe “Old Flint” Cousins, head coach of the Charleston State Univerity men’s football team was spied recently working as a cashier at a Home Depot about seven miles from his home campus. “I feel so sorry for him,” said math professor Paulina Gorzki, who bought a set of screwdrivers from Coach Cousins. “Most football coaches [...]

In the days following the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, many New Yorkers still expressed a feeling of emptiness that could not be filled. Until now. The Big East commission has announced that a deal with Yankee Stadium to host a football booby prize championship is almost complete. The [...]