Dangerous Parent Pays $14,000 a Year Expecting University to Deliver Shitty Experience
by AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer Florida East State University Residence Hall Coordinator Jason Picks reported a suspicious parent this week to the university’s threat assessment team. According to Picks, parent Miranda Washburn sent him an email stating she is absolutely paying $14,000 a year in housing costs so her daughter Sarah can have “an incredibly [...]
University Hires The Parent Whisperer
AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer In response to a growing number of correspondences from helicopter parents, Statebridge University has brought in an expert: The Parent Whisperer, also known as author and psychiatrist Dr. Mattie Helms. “Despite the fact that many faculty and staff members are parents themselves, most parents refuse to believe that anyone who works [...]
Career Specialists Split on Benefits of “Helicopter Agents”
by Alan Finch Freelance Writer Charles Franklin, a career counselor at Mount Whitney College, is in jail today after an incident involving a student’s mother. According to Mount Whitney’s student newspaper, The Daily Climber, Mr. Franklin and the unidentified woman became embroiled in an altercation after she refused to wait outside during her son’s mock [...]
Nation Panics as Student-Induced Lawyer Drought Hits Epidemic Levels
by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer The American Bar Association (ABA) reported a shortage of available lawyers across the nation this week. The report described a near-crisis situation caused largely by college students and their parents. “Every college student has a lawyer on retainer, sometimes two or three lawyers,” said Fritz Summers, spokesperson for ABA. [...]
CronkNews Documentary Film: “Move-In Day”
Posted on Monday, August 23rd 2010
Tags: dorm, helicopter, languange, mom, parent, politically correct, residence hall, video
Tags: dorm, helicopter, languange, mom, parent, politically correct, residence hall, video
College Expands Enrollment Options, Finds New Way to Involve Parents
by Alan Finch Freelance Writer Administrators at Wallace College are making headlines with a recent decision allowing parents to enroll in place of their children. The new registration status, defined as “Proxy” by the college, was approved last night by Wallace president Dr. Sheila Jefferson. Believed to be the first of its type in the [...]
Gen-X Mom Leaves Son’s Graduation in Blaze of Glory
by Erica Price Freelance Writer Emergency personnel are being honored today at Central Indiana College for quick aid of an injured student at its annual commencement ceremony. John Sears, 21, is resting comfortably in an undisclosed location after sustaining injuries in a fall from the stage as he was about to accept his degree. On [...]
Mime Upsets Students: Staff Member Held Responsible
Posted on Friday, April 30th 2010
Tags: helicopter, millennial, mom, parent, PC Police Log, political correctness
Tags: helicopter, millennial, mom, parent, PC Police Log, political correctness
by Dash Phillips Freelance Writer The Director of Student Programs and Services Leigh Rhenquist at Bell College in Carthage, New York was censured this week because a mime created a disturbance on campus. As the College kicked off its annual “Expressive Arts Week” a mime began his performance in the dining hall. When the mime [...]
College Fair Draws 3000 Parents, No Prospective Students
Posted on Wednesday, March 24th 2010
Tags: admissions, applications, college fair, helicopter, millennial, parent
Tags: admissions, applications, college fair, helicopter, millennial, parent
by Irma Voigt Senior Staff Writer A college fair held on the campus of Severeid University drew more than 100 colleges and universities hoping to put their marketing materials in the hands of prospective students. But no students attended the fair, according to organizers. "I'm just as surprised as anyone else," said Josie Bowers, Assistant [...]
Students Uninterested in Using Crosswalks. Bored Administrators React
Posted on Thursday, February 25th 2010
Tags: administration, authority, bureaucracy, college, helicopter, in loco parentis, rules
Tags: administration, authority, bureaucracy, college, helicopter, in loco parentis, rules
By Brody Truce Staff Writer A recent online student safety poll at Bridger College in Cody, WY found that over 80% of students are uninterested in using the College’s designated crosswalks when crossing the street. “Frankly, we were all shocked,” said Nancy Ambrose, head of Bridger College’s Campus Safety Division. “We were pleased that our [...]


