Seismologists at the Belmont VA Geologic Institute (BVGI) have reported anomalous tectonic tremors with an epicenter in nearby Charlottesville, VA. “We measured a very small disturbance last week when 2000 students and faculty at the University of Virginia staged a protest against the Board of Visitors,” said geologist Frank Kemper. “This is something different from [...]

by Skye Kopfgeschlagen Freelance Writer “She stepped on the grass!” screamed junior James McCreary about a student who stumbled on the grass. “It is clearly a Code of Honor violation.” The strict rules outlined in the Code of Honor at Harmony University are coming under fire due to expulsions related to such accusations as dropping [...]

Computer science major Todd “Java Juice” Edwards started to suspect something was up this week, when his fraternity brothers from Pi Lambda Rho neglected to tell him about an important tradition called “Kegger Fridays.” “I’m not sure anything is wrong,” said Edwards (nicknamed “Java Juice” by his big brother Frank “Frickin’ Dumb Ass” Douman). “After [...]