by Anna Coleman Freelance Memer

by AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer As Angela Hammond stared out the window of her office onto the cold, bleak, gray campus, she heaved a heavy sigh. “There’s just nothing funny. Nothing.” Hammond, one of the top freelance contributors to the popular CronkNews.com, has hit an icy, slushy, annoying wall of writers’ block. “Typically I block [...]

by Brody Truce Senior Staff Writer Citing shifts in student needs and ever-decreasing student satisfaction scores, librarians at The College of Eastern Nevada have elected to abandon the Dewey Decimal system for categorizing books. “We found that we were spending an extraordinary amount of time explaining the Dewey Decimal classification system to our students, and [...]

Billy Grainger, a third-year business student at Harvard, thinks he has the key to winning the famous Ivy League Biz-Off for aspiring entrepreneurs. “It seems the the market is saturated with sweatshirts from Princeton and Harvard. I see them everywhere, from high schools to state colleges,” said Grainger in the mock business plan he submitted [...]

The National College Measuring Service (NCMS) reports that students participating in a campus media club like the college newspaper or radio station self-report being 16.8% more clever than their peers. The only group self-reporting higher levels of cleverness are the students who consider themselves too cool for joining news media or reading books. In reality, [...]

CronkNews.com has challenged its staff, through manipulation, threats and temper tantrums, to improve social networking. The goal: to attract 100 Twitter followers before Ashton Kutcher recruits 4 million. Results so far: 09/17/09 Competition Start Date 09/19/09 10/03/09 Kutcher Followers 3,548,800 3,621,866 3,754,142 CronkNews Followers 39 47 50 Uh oh. Kutcher is closing in on 4 [...]

After reading Esther Wojcicki’s blog entry “Educators Urged to Allow Their Students to Fail” in the Huffington Post, incompetent faculty from every university in the country breathed a sigh of relief. According to Wojcicki’s post, author Malcolm Gladwell’s keynote speech for the National Education Computing Conference last month included a challenge to educators to allow [...]

After years of painstaking research, a team of mathematicians from Cal Tech and MIT have found definitive proof that diversity is indeed a number. Sixteen. “We have finally put and end to the ongoing debate between social scientists and real science,” said team leader Hassan Patel, chair of MIT’s Department of Hard Sciences. “Our research [...]

After years of scientific dignitaries and social change agents, students at St. Rutherford’s College (SRC) in Hillmont, IL celebrated the announcement this week that its administration would commit to better commencement speakers. In a press conference Tuesday, St. Rutherford’s president, Catherine O’Hanahan announced, “Starting in May, 2010, we will welcome only stand-up comedians and popular [...]