Attorneys for Grandfield University college student Karina Noone have announced that Noone is suing her campus work study supervisors for violating her civil rights. Noone claims her position in dining services originally met all of her expectations. “I was a cashier at the trendy cappuccino bar on campus,” said Noone. “Then they told me I [...]

by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer Finding the perfect job during a recession is difficult. According to Chloe Parker, a recently hired first year sociology professor at Carter College, finding the perfect hairdresser is even more difficult. This week, Parker submitted a letter of resignation to the chair of the humanities department citing a [...]

Campus authorities at St. Wesley’s College in Minnesota were put on alert when reports leaked out that sophomore Therese Biegler may have accidentally apologized for a mistake. According to reports, Therese was meeting with Professor Maggie Chrishnal and told the teacher that she took responsibility for her failure to fully research her thesis and proofread [...]

After a months-long crusade, director of counseling services Whitney Crissman has successfully convinced Stowe College to set a new, more positive trend in math education. “Instead of doing math ‘problems,’” said Crissman, “students will now complete math ‘challenges.’ We counselors are always looking for innovative ways to make academic life more positive, and we found [...]

by Erica Price Freelance Writer Emergency personnel are being honored today at Central Indiana College for quick aid of an injured student at its annual commencement ceremony. John Sears, 21, is resting comfortably in an undisclosed location after sustaining injuries in a fall from the stage as he was about to accept his degree. On [...]

by Aloysius St. Bernard Freelance Writer In an unexpected move last Thursday, residence hall director candidate John Hanson declared himself the new director of residence life at Peyton Randolph University, ousting Dr. Henry Laurens, who had served the small liberal arts college for twelve years. The coup marked a symbolic changing of the guard from [...]

In what was first thought a tragic mauling incident in the College of Ignatius zoology labs, investigators are now seriously considering the possibility of a rare case of egogurgitation. “It appears that Professor H. Glenn Marks was engulfed by a student’s enormous ego,” said Crooks County forensic examiner Bucky Chalk. “The last person who saw [...]

by Dash Phillips Freelance Writer The Director of Student Programs and Services Leigh Rhenquist at Bell College in Carthage, New York was censured this week because a mime created a disturbance on campus. As the College kicked off its annual “Expressive Arts Week” a mime began his performance in the dining hall. When the mime [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer The Office of Student Engagement at Malple College submitted an emergency funding request to the state legislature for their annual awards banquet in May. “I had it all figured out,” said Dora Creamer, Coordinator of Student Engagement. “My grad and I crunched the numbers over and over again to [...]

In a March Madness season full of upsets and dramatic underdog stories, the NCAA thinks the time might be right to consider a rule change that would democratize team sports. “What we’re proposing is a waiver of the ‘Too Many Players on the Field’ rule at the beginning of each game,” explained an NCAA spokeswoman. [...]