by Erica Price
Freelance Writer

"I never have to buy groceries like other people my age," says Coach Spaulding. "The dorm cafeteria is better than tenure for keeping me here and the kids love to hear my stories."

Rave reviews from the National Association of Student Personnel Association’s (NASPA) recent “Institute for Aspiring Senior Student Affairs Officers” conference have inspired a different group of student affairs administrators to consider some different professional development initiatives.

The newly founded “Gold Watch Institute” will be held this coming April in Jacksonville, Florida. The new program grew from a vocal coalition of members of NASPA expressing concern that with the high turnover rate in the field of student affairs, it was time to visibly promote a message that supports more long term employees at various institutions.

“We’re just tired of these cut-throat, ambitious, status-seeking types” says Jack Richardson, coordinator of the new higher education institute. “They’re always looking for the next step. Why not be happy where you are?”

The organizing committee plans to distribute their “It’s OK 2 Stay” buttons as a form of peaceful dissent at the upcoming Placement Exchange professional recruitment conference and the official launch of their new program. The public relations campaign features Maggie Hahn, t21-year development assistant at Shoreline Community College in Terre Haute, Indiana. When asked about her decision to not even seek potential new opportunities she said, “In today’s economy there’s not a lot of extra money in the bank account for things like interview suits. My suit from twenty years ago doesn’t fit anymore and I have other priorities than buying a new one. So, I stay.”

Keynote speaker for the Institute has been announced as Mr. Kenneth G. Boltonne, who has served as Career Services Coordinator at Keshaw State University in Illinois for the past 32 years. His presentation, entitled “Stick Around for a While, You’ll Learn Something” will highlight benefits of long term employment in the same position for so long. His tales of skillfully memorizing the catering guide for campus event planning and use of the same box of business cards for multiple decades is certain to inspire more employees to settle down.

The Institute will also honor Jack “Coach” Spaulding with the coveted “Deep Roots” Award for institutional service. At 64 years old, he is the oldest serving residence hall director in the student affairs profession. When asked for his reaction to his recognition, he said “When I started as the assistant basketball coach all those years ago I had no idea what student affairs was all about. They moved me over to the RD spot after realizing I didn’t know anything about basketball and that they shouldn’t have hired me in the first place. Who knew I would love it this much?”

Follow the preparation for the new Institute and feel free to join the dialogue on Twitter at the hashtag #stayput11.

by Erica Price
Freelance Writer

Administrators at Kentucky Methodist College are on edge this week as they fend off media attention relating to a 2001 search process for a Career Services Coordinator position.

Rob Shackleford, 26, held a standing room only press conference in the local OfficeMax break room to disclose his intent to sue the college for not granting him an interview for the position vacancy. In his address, Shackleford stated “the college failed to inform me that they had filled the position so I am still a candidate. I never received a rejection so I know I still have a shot.” My suit is based on the fact that I feel I was discriminated against. I’m not sure for what, but it must be something since they just take their time in getting back to me. Well, that ends today.”

In a private interview Shackleford provided more insight into how he spends his time. “I’ve been vigilant about honing my career counseling skills. I’ve helped many staffers here at OfficeMax with their career planning and they’re finally taking the career assessments I’ve been trying to get them to do at lunch for years. People keep leaving here for better jobs and I know that my career advice has made all the difference. Just check out the number of copies of About Campus in my locker. I read them all the time. I’m ready for that interview,” Shackleford said.

Jed Simpson, one of Shackleford’s current OfficeMax coworkers, provided insight into Shackleford’s state of mind. “Rob is a great guy but I always wondered why he couldn’t give us a regular schedule of hours at OfficeMax. He said he was waiting to hear about a job at a college so he needed to be a temp. It seems pretty crazy that it takes so long to hear back from these colleges.”

The Director of Human Resources at KMC, Kendra Demotte, explained the educational philosophy of the university’s search process. “As with our students, we take pride in empowering our candidates to practice building their problem solving skills. If we simply tell candidates the outcome of the process, we have done them a disservice by exercising only their low level cognitive skills. Communicating honestly with candidates is just passé.”

Breaking a sacred confidentiality vow, an employer at the recent American College Personnel Association placement conference “Career Central” accidentally slipped the real use of candidate portfolios.

“A candidate brought a laptop with her to her interview so she could show me her e-portfolio,” explained the employer. “By the thirtieth page, I couldn’t hold back and I spilled the beans.” The employer now faces charges with the National Student Affairs Ethics Board.

“He told me candidates’ quality is in opposite proportion to the length of their portfolios,” explained the interviewee. “The longer the portfolio, the less likely they’ll like you. I spent the rest of the day in the special candidate massage room crying and on the phone with my mom.”

Members of the Ethics Board will meet soon to make a decision about the employer’s fate.

“If the employer did reveal the portfolio secret, it could be a devastating blow to many interviewers,” said one member of the Board. “Employers depend on these blathering self-important portfolios for comedic relief during otherwise exhausting placement stints.”

by Irma Voigt
Senior Staff Writer

At the close of The Placement Exchange, held in Chicago in early March, an ad hoc committee met to discuss recommended changes for future years. The Placement Exchange is student development’s largest employment fair, representing multiple national student affairs organizations ranging from housing to orientation to Greek life.

It was the American Fraternal Association (AFA) representative on the ad hoc committee who made the push for stricter recruitment policies.

“We want employers to be on a level playing field,” said Mindy Kohler, Director of Greek Affairs at Dells State University. “Candidates are being wooed by the items left in their mailboxes rather than the actual positions to which they’re applying.”

Kohler provided the ad hoc committee with a list of recruitment tactics that she observed via a fake candidate mailbox she had established. Kohler reported receiving letters stuffed with confetti, snacks throughout the event, notes of encouragement, and a pen that doubled as a flashlight.

“There are schools that can’t compete in this type of environment, especially with the current economic situation. It was my recommendation that we remove candidate mailboxes completely.”

Not everyone on the committee supported Kohler’s recommended changes.

“We dump thousands of dollars into marketing our department at placement exchanges annually,” said Yvonne Behar, Associate Director of Residential Living at Milton University. “It’s the only way we can get candidates to even consider coming here with our party school reputation.”

Behar admitted to using confetti in envelopes as well as inviting candidates to a swanky social with gourmet cupcakes.

“They’ll find out soon enough that life isn’t like this everyday at Milton. For now, why destroy the dream?” said Behar.

The ad hoc committee agreed to adopt several of Kohler’s recommendations including:

• Confetti and glitter are banned from The Placement Exchange venue at all times
• Candidates may only be provided food and beverages during socials that have been approved by the recruitment chair
• Candidates may not receive gifts worth more than $1.00 via their mailboxes
• Employers are banned from using any language that may lead a candidate into thinking they know their status in the recruitment process

Kohler considers this a small victory.

“Not every institution can be pretty and popular,” said Kohler. “Sometimes you have a Phi Mu type of organization out there on the interview floor. You need to protect them, too.”

Chicago native Oprah Winfrey is reportedly angry at the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators, though executive leadership of the organization refuses to respond to these claims.

NASPA provided delegates, included candidates and employers at The Placement Exchange, with bright blue reusable bags, similar to those available for purchase at big box stores nationally. With almost 4,000 registered delegates for this year’s annual conference in Chicago, NASPA has a visible presence in the city, particularly on the Magnificent Mile, a stretch of Michigan Avenue that is renowned for its high-end retail options.

Winfrey apparently spotted these bags and demanded that her staff locate one for each member of her talk show’s studio audience. Given the number acquired by the NASPA planning team, no bags were available for Winfrey.

“I thought she was going to lose it,” said an unnamed staff member at Harpo Productions, Inc., the company that produces all of Winfrey’s endeavors. “I distracted her with some Oreo cookies.”

“We are aware of the crisis,” said Jason Nomdecker, a representative from the bag vendor. “We’re extremely hopeful to have more available in time for Oprah’s Favorite Things episode.”

NASPA attendees have been advised to keep their bags close to their bodies to avoid having them stolen by Winfrey’s staffers.