by Con Chapman Lifestyles Editor ST. LOUIS, Mo. As the American Philosophical Association’s annual convention wound down following yesterday’s plenary session, professors from around the country took time off from the presentation of academic papers to focus their analytical skills on less weighty matters. “The bus is leaving for midget wrestling in five minutes, people!” [...]

To Soften Football’s Blow, Some Colleges Switch to “Commend Leaders” by Con Chapman Lifestyles Editor DANVILLE, Illinois. As the medical dangers of football have become more widely-known, college administrators are struggling to deal with a game that is deeply embedded in the culture of undergraduate life. “We can’t just eliminate it,” says Norbert Cseko, dean [...]

by Brody Truce Senior Staff Writer                                       Follow Brody Truce on Twitter

Divoire University announced a historic change this week when it announced a new name: Divoire Multiversity. “I had never considered making the change,” said Divoire President Richard C. Clavin, “but our Committee for Proper Language was very convincing in its argument to move to a more positive, inclusive name.” “We started by analyzing the word [...]

By Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer Fountain Hills College, renowned for publishing the nation’s most extensive student policy handbook, announced this week that it would ban men’s rugby matches. The announcement cited a yet unpublished policy surrounding flagrant public instances of homoeroticism. The policy, one of fifteen new edicts to be announced in September, [...]

by Brody K. Truce Senior Staff Writer For years, a silent yet bitter war has divided employees at Carter College. The issue: unscheduled leave for “childcare issues.” According to the employee handbook, Carter College permits employees with exempt status who work at least two hours of any given day to leave early without taking vacation [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer Tubinder University’s purchasing department announced last week that it would be enforcing stricter acquisition policies and procedures in the upcoming fiscal year. The new purchasing handbook, which is more than 400 pages, outlines the steps any university employee must follow to make a purchase on behalf of a department. [...]

by Brody Truce Staff Writer This week, Fountain Hills College administrators released the first ever “Policy on Policies” in their newly published 2010 student policy handbook. Dr. Bonnie Mendoza, Dean of Students, is especially proud of the College’s new policy. “We found that some students weren’t taking all of our policies seriously. We believe that [...]

Two Tennessee school districts have settled with the ACLU and reversed their policy of blocking gay/lesbian Web sites from school computers. “Of course they were disappointed,” said a friend of the school board, “but now we can get down to the real evil – cupcakes and hugs. The devil comes in many forms.”

Gwen Gregory, assistant manager of financial services at Louisville Methodist University, married The Rules at a small private ceremony in the DCU chapel. “Finally!” yelled junior Christie Mendez, who has worked as a student employee in the financial services office for two years. “Any student at LMU could tell you how much Gwen loves The [...]