Available for Fall Semester Mother Madre University In response to recent reports that campus counseling centers nationwide have had a 16% increase in students seeking assistance, Mother Madre University seeks two additional therapists. The successful candidate will listen to tearful college students who tell tales of drama, psychosis and mild stress. Will offer meaningful, heart-felt [...]

Immediate Opening Francis Bacon University Description Seeking clearly dysfunctional professional to challenge our administrative executives. Examples of dysfunctions could include verbal abusiveness, egregious incompetence or predilection for explosive temper tantrums. Qualifications Successful candidate will be married to beloved campus professional who might resign if spouse is held accountable for terrible behavior. Perks Consistently poor enough [...]

Submitted by Brody Truce, Staff Writer Spring Opening Penbrooke State University, VA Description The Penbrooke State University Office of Public Safety is currently seeking highly qualified law enforcement professionals—or dudes who like to ride bikes—for an exciting new career in campus safety. Requirements Ability to pedal required. Actual law enforcement experience optional. Clean criminal background [...]

Immediate Opening Indianaville University, IN Description In an effort to reduce our personnel budget expenditures, Indianaville University seeks to hire several robot professors. This is an accelerated tenure-track position at a student-centered, teaching-centered institution. Will carry double the full-time course load in field of expertise. Requirements Terminal degree required. Teaching experience and passion optional. Must [...]

Multiple Immediate Openings Metropolitan University, NY Needed: Several credentialed wellness instructors to teach numerous sections of University’s mandated “Happiness Through Nutrition and Fitness” course. Requirements Must have advanced degree in Physical Science, Nutrition or a related field. Must be visibly overweight and comfortable using scripted PowerPoint presentations about the countless rewards of eating well and [...]