“We’re going green!” says a huge plastic banner that hangs above the housing office at Burton University. Staff at BU are touting themselves the first in the country to use a completely paperless housing system after opening. “Don’t even think about asking us for a room change,” said housing director Mack Janssen. “Once you’re in, [...]

by Barbara Murphy Freelance Writer As students return from Thanksgiving break to the campus of Whinemore College, staff at WC’s counseling services find their schedules packed with anxious students. While many assumed the anxiety related to impending final exams, counselors were surprised to find another source of student distress: returning home for the winter break. [...]

by AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer In an unprecedented example of how college is not exactly like the movies, 19-year-old Nancy Whittaker has discovered she is not best friends with her college roommate, Morgan McDaniels. “It’s nothing at all like ‘Felicity’ or even Van Wilder…it’s like we don’t even talk,” said Whittaker, while filling out a [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer Residential students at Hillgate University are questioning everything they believed to be true about their roommate relationships after it was revealed that their preference surveys were not actually considered in the assignment process. “We have received information that one of our staff members thought it was permissible to use [...]

Fortuitously timed after critics’ response to Tufts University’s new policy forbidding residential students from having sexual intercourse with a roommate present, the University has built a state-of-the-art rooftop garden on top of the Tisch Library. “Why would I want to have sex in my room when I can make out on top of the library?” [...]

Residents of the Tharp School of the Arts Theater House voted to eject acting major Coco DeRosa because she did not bring enough drama to the dorm community “She was so boring,” said her roommate Violet Zizzle. “I don’t think I saw her cry once the whole time we lived together.” Zizzle initially reported her [...]

Elated by Tufts University’s announcement of a new policy forbidding students in college housing from having intercourse while a roommate is present, other institutions have followed suit by making rules that will protect the fragile millennial generation from having to deal with real-life conflicts. Most recent policies include: St. Libertine College has forbidden crunching potato [...]