No joke. The fake journalists at the phony higher ed news magazine The Cronk of Higher Education couldn’t believe there was no official day, week or month dedicated to the high art of irony and have jumped into action. “It’s unacceptable to ignore satire!” said Cronk senior writer Irma Pelt. “But also predictable. As the [...]

by Tweed Walters and Leah Wescott He may be college football’s most controversial coach. He follows his heart, plays with passion and has a smokin’ hot wife. Who better to play Cupid this holiday weekend? We bring you… Lane Kiffin’s 5 Tips for a Fantastic Valentine’s Day 1) Pick a sweetheart for Valentine’s Day. Say [...]

Billy Grainger, a third-year business student at Harvard, thinks he has the key to winning the famous Ivy League Biz-Off for aspiring entrepreneurs. “It seems the the market is saturated with sweatshirts from Princeton and Harvard. I see them everywhere, from high schools to state colleges,” said Grainger in the mock business plan he submitted [...]

CronkNews.com has challenged its staff, through manipulation, threats and temper tantrums, to improve social networking. The goal: to attract 100 Twitter followers before Ashton Kutcher recruits 4 million. Results so far: 09/17/09 Competition Start Date 09/19/09 10/03/09 Kutcher Followers 3,548,800 3,621,866 3,754,142 CronkNews Followers 39 47 50 Uh oh. Kutcher is closing in on 4 [...]

As the world mourns the July 17, 2009 passing of media icon Walter Cronkite, known best for his stoic announcement of John F. Kennedy’s death, college students pause to reflect. Their words sound eerily familiar to those heard for decades following the November, 1963 shooting. “I’ll always remember where I was this week,” said Wisconsin [...]

After reading Esther Wojcicki’s blog entry “Educators Urged to Allow Their Students to Fail” in the Huffington Post, incompetent faculty from every university in the country breathed a sigh of relief. According to Wojcicki’s post, author Malcolm Gladwell’s keynote speech for the National Education Computing Conference last month included a challenge to educators to allow [...]

Sources who wish to remain anonymous claim they heard two MBA students from a prestigious institution having an honest conversation over mocha lattés at Starbucks. The unidentified listeners recorded the following conversation: MBA Student 1: Did you see in the Wall Street Journal that a Rutgers professor named Donald L. McCabe has done almost twenty [...]

According to rumors circulated at the Human Rights Campaign, which is planning  National Coming Out Day on October 11, 2009, a group of Michael Jackson fan advocates would like to include MJ fans as a group invited to openly come out to the world. “During these past two weeks, we have seen thousands – if [...]

Call for Programs: National FME-CSP Conference October 21-24, 2009 Charleston, SC Future Manager Education in College Student Personnel This year’s FME-CSP conference team has put together a convention theme that captures the excitement and expectations coming with the change of decades. We’re putting the F back in FME. Intentional * On Purpose * Keeping It [...]

After years of painstaking research, a team of mathematicians from Cal Tech and MIT have found definitive proof that diversity is indeed a number. Sixteen. “We have finally put and end to the ongoing debate between social scientists and real science,” said team leader Hassan Patel, chair of MIT’s Department of Hard Sciences. “Our research [...]