University Celebrates Annual Paradigm Shift
by Diana Senechal Stockton, CA—It’s the time of year when sprinklers fill the air with rainbows, industrial lawnmowers spew grass and noise, and Mutatus University changes everything. “We’re lucky to see a paradigm shift in action,” said summer school student Sebastian Strewer. “Most people are away, so they miss out.” “They’re like earthquakes,” added classmate [...]
U-Va. Rector Dragas Aims to Remove God from Notre Dame
Following the ultimatum issued by Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell to the University of Virginia governing board to clean up its controversial mess or face immediate termination, Rector and controversy fire starter Helen Dragas has established her next career goal. “I may have underestimated the power of U-Va.’s sense of tradition in my attempt to unseat [...]
Thomas Jefferson Rolls Over in His Grave
Seismologists at the Belmont VA Geologic Institute (BVGI) have reported anomalous tectonic tremors with an epicenter in nearby Charlottesville, VA. “We measured a very small disturbance last week when 2000 students and faculty at the University of Virginia staged a protest against the Board of Visitors,” said geologist Frank Kemper. “This is something different from [...]

