by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer One administrative assistant received special recognition at Perry University’s Administrative Professionals Banquet this week for her unique support of the university’s wellness program. The human resources office at Perry introduced a wellness plan for faculty and staff earlier this semester, hoping to lower overall insurance costs by incentivizing positive [...]

Thirty professors at the Norfolk Arts Institute eulogized Karina Briguette on Saturday in a twelve-minute memorial service commemorating their faculty colleague’s many accomplishments. “Karina always left work precisely at 5:00,” said Dean George Frish. “She took wellness very seriously, and reminded us to get eight hours of sleep every night, just like her.” “Karina wasn’t [...]

by AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer As Angela Hammond stared out the window of her office onto the cold, bleak, gray campus, she heaved a heavy sigh. “There’s just nothing funny. Nothing.” Hammond, one of the top freelance contributors to the popular CronkNews.com, has hit an icy, slushy, annoying wall of writers’ block. “Typically I block [...]

Staff at the Knox Athletic Center at Landry College are carefully preparing for the fitness center’s favorite annual tradition. “It’s like getting ready for a solar eclipse,” said Ernie Yednich Landry’s athletic director. “It only comes around once in a while so we have to treat it with the reverence it deserves.” Professor Merriman visits [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer A former dean at St. John’s University, Cecilia Chang, was fired for forcing students to do personal chores under the pretense of fulfilling their scholarship requirement. Chang, who was dean of St. John’s Institute of Asian Studies, faces harsh accusations from several international students who were recipients of a [...]

Each year, the National College Measuring Service (NCMS) surveys student affairs professionals to assess the issues perceived as needing the most attention. Among the items to choose from are violence on campus, student mental health issues and financial aid. “Despite changes in national trends, the results look remarkably like previous years,” said NCMS analyst Joseph [...]

Staff members of the Jamestown University Counseling Center came to blows following a long-brewing conflict between the counselors with children and those without. “Those single bitches get to leave here and go out partying all night,” said one woman with two elementary-age children. “I have to go to school concerts, soccer games and science fairs.” [...]

Overheard at the Old Charley’s Pub “Wings & Rings” happy hour: Freshman 1: I can’t stand the dorm cafeteria one more day. It gives me diarrhea. Oh my god, these wings are awesome. Freshman 2: I know. The caf’ gives me acne and turns my teeth brown. Do you have a cigarette? Freshman 1: I’m [...]

by Irma Voigt Staff Reporter Nixon University announced Thursday its plan to implement a beauty requirement for graduating seniors. “The faculty overwhelmingly showed concern regarding the superficial appearance of students, particularly those that may go on to serve in alumni association leadership roles or even just wear their Nixon hoodies to the grocery store,” said [...]

Multiple Immediate Openings Metropolitan University, NY Needed: Several credentialed wellness instructors to teach numerous sections of University’s mandated “Happiness Through Nutrition and Fitness” course. Requirements Must have advanced degree in Physical Science, Nutrition or a related field. Must be visibly overweight and comfortable using scripted PowerPoint presentations about the countless rewards of eating well and [...]