Grammar professor Marjorie Kitt was fired from her position last week amongst allegations that she had consistently misused quotation marks she drew in the air with her fingers. “It’s was an offense to our department,” explained Dean of English Corrine Samuels. “She put quotations marks around seemingly everything without regard to legitimate rules of […]
by Monty Tufnel Freelance Writer Highland University announced today that Provost Marshall Higginbottom has resigned in the light of news stories surfacing that Highland faculty had been receiving bottles of expensive scotch in exchange for passing students. Higginbottom, recently decorated with a service emeritus award by Highland President Horace Faunteloy, leaves after heading Highland’s academics […]
“Seriously, I’ve had to work for everything I’ve had,” says Ivy League teen. by Alice Hawthorne Staff Writer In a stunning rebuttal to years of work by expert sociologists, Mark Edward Howard IV, freshman student at an unnamed Ivy League school, has proven white privilege is a myth. “If you even saw how many hours […]
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