GLBT Center Voted #1 for “Safest Place on Campus for Diversity Bashing”

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Poor FashionCongratulations to the Branchbrook College GLBT Center for being voted for the sixth consecutive year “Safest Place for Diversity Bashing.”

“In some ways, this one means more than the first,” said GLBT student president Norman Gregory. “It shows that our commitment to diversity bashing isn’t just a fluke. It’s a sustained model of dialogue. We’ve made it a culture to diversity bash, and that’s really the accomplishment.”

“Some of my best memories of hanging out in the center involve diversity bashing with my friends,” said Shasta Reynoldo. “This one time, we made fun of one of our Christian members until she cried. She honestly tried to tell us that her faith was important to her. Believe me, we schooled her about the ‘atheists only’ guidelines we enforced at the center.”

“One other time, we ridiculed the president of the Queer Alliance so badly he quit his position,” recalled Yuen Hu. “He was dressed like a peasant and just not representing us appropriately. He got his hair cut at a place that only charges $12 and buys his body products at the same place he gets his groceries. What a fraud.”

“One time, one of the center regulars brought a friend with her and we recognized the guy as a member of the Campus Republicans,” said Gregory. “The guy said he wanted to learn more about GLBT issues in order to make the political groups more open minded. I promise he’ll never be back. We Rick San-tore-him a new one.”

The GLBT Center has spared no resources in creating safe places for diversity bashing, explains Center Coordinator Melanie Swisher.

“We schedule separate times for each of the twenty four clubs we house to meet and talk,” said Swisher. “The Bi Club meets Mondays to talk about the Transgender Alliance. The Allies Team meets Tuesdays to bash the Queer Support Group. The Asian Dance Gays meet in tandem with the K-Pop Choreography Gays to mock each other’s moves.”

“It’s very equalizing,” said Reynoldo. “Everyone will remember being educated by the differences we encounter everyday in the center. Maybe someday the retarded clubs on campus who don’t operate like this will learn how much better we are.”